Saturday, 10 August 2013

GW Makes The Satirical News: Looters Return Stuff To Games Workshop

The following article is from the British satirical news site The Daily Mash. It's not hilarious and it's oddly about 27 years off what GW produce today, but it does pick up on something I'm always told by family members or friends when trying to entice them with a casual game: "there are so many rules!" If you're British you'll also appreciate the sideswipe at faux-historical shop Past Times. (By the way, I dream of GW introducing D20s into their current games ;-)

Looters Return Stuff To Games Workshop

SCORES of disappointed rioters queued up this morning to return goods they had mistakenly looted from Games Workshop.

The crestfallen thieves had raided the store hoping for a PS3 or Nintendo bounty but arrived home to find they had stolen a box containing 300 unpainted Orcs and a board game called Beyond the Ultraforest of Kwang.

Martin Bishop, 19, said: “I am returning The Runering of Fangor.

“It includes two dice, each with about 40 sides and instructions on how to gain the trust of a ‘cloud wizard’.

“And yet somehow I’m the fucking bad guy.”

He added: “Nevertheless I am now immune to Dwarven magic, so it hasn’t been a complete waste of time.”

Meanwhile, historical kitsch outlet Past Times reported the return of a pair or resin bookends in the shape of the Egyptian cat-god Sekhmet and 254 teak statues of a fat, reclining Buddha.

And in Manchester, people who stole copies of Limitless starring Bradley Cooper have been setting fire to them and throwing them back through the window of HMV.

Roy Hobbs, manager of Games Workshop in Birmingham, said: “Welcome home my children. Let me bathe you in the healing milk of Fagnarbarak.

“I knew we would meet again.”


  1. That article was first published two years ago :)

    1. Indeed, and the Past Times brand has disappeared from the High Street since then while HMV are dying a long, slow, drawn out, 'Rickmanesque' death. Will GW be next to suffer the curse of the Daily Mash? Or will the Healing Milk of Fagnarbarak save them once again?

    2. Yes it's from the 'From The Vault' section. But in my defense I've only just seen it on Facebook and I wasn't blogging two years ago ;-)

  2. there are a few funny stories if you search their site for warhamer, 40K or Games Workshop.

    1. Very true, "Warhammer more than just a hobby, says Miliband" is my favourite but "Girls celebrate anniversary of Warhammer 40000" is good too.

    2. Those are good, but overall I think The Poke is a better website for bite-sized joviality.


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